My Faithful Servant

“I don’t wanna stay in the bad place, where no one believes in silver linings or
love, or happy endings.” Pat said that, he was a teacher who after spending some
time a mental institution, tries to reconcile with his ex-wife. He’s better
recognized as the character Bradley Cooper played opposite Jennifer Lawrence in
this 2012 film. As much as I would love to write about Cooper or JLaw, this
article is about the title itself from the novel-made-movie, Silver Linings
Playbook.

If there was a picture for me, some visual representation for who I am as a
person-other than my physical self-it would be suiting for Google image to
present a storm cloud. I would describe myself as a dark cloud with a silver
lining. All of us have less than perfect pieces, stormy vices, and tricky sins.
Each one of us is a little dark and twisty, whether we admit it or not.

My disability is a dark part I’ll admit that, it sucks. Choosing not to go to a
concert because of huge crowds, sucks. Looking at a trampoline after one too
many Red bulls and not being able to bounce it out-sucks! Don’t even get me
started on carrying coffee. Oh, if only I could kick my disability out like an
unwanted guest. Over two decades of vicious balance inconvenience deserves a
Fight Club kind of sayonara. Sadly, we cannot kick the crap out of our
disadvantages. (Not physically anyway, the conquering is a mental thing.) What
we can do is, not focus on the dark and twisty parts. Never mind the dark of
night because the sunrise is sure to follow.

My silver lining is sweet, and smart, and awkward. He’s got four paws that have
somehow left their impression on my heart. Teva is my Service Dog. I’m going to
answer the FAQ’s now, hoping to dwindle the constant repetition of answers when
my dog and I are out and about. Note: all seeing-eye dogs are Service Dogs, but
not all Service Dogs are seeing-eye dogs. I am not blind but thanks for
assuming? He helps with retrieval and knows over 50 commands. He’s a
three-year-old Black Lab/Golden who enjoys curling in a donut and chewing water
bottles. Also, he’s very attached to a certain purple string. His birthday is in
October and yes he will accept gifts, Pupuccinos from Starbucks are preferred.

The kind, innocent, sometimes cat-like Teva, is my second blessing that came
from Canine Companions for Independence a non-profit organization of truly
awesome dog trainers who mold exceptional dogs for exceptional people. Isro was
my first dog. He was a gentleman if I ever knew one. Isro was loyal, regal, and
pretty much brilliant. He also made a great pillow. I grew up with him and I
doubt I’ll ever out grow the love Isro had for me. I didn’t expect to lose him
when I did, to have cancer take one of the best things that’s ever happened to
me in less than a month. Everyday I miss him. At the end of his life on earth, I
told him about the scripture Matthew 25:21, it fit him perfectly; he really was
my faithful servant. Which is why I recently got the phrase ‘My Faithful
Servant” tattooed on my left arm that now holds Teva’s leash. Thank you, Ivan
from The Basement Ink in Oak Forest for giving me such a beautiful permanent
reminder of my best friend. Although the ink was supposed to be a tribute and
not a memorial, life has its surprises. Love, no matter what. Never forget to
appreciate-during and after.

So yes, I’m a storm cloud and I think that happily ever after is so once upon a
time, but I have hope. I have faith, I have an anchored soul, I have a stronger
than strong mother and a compassionate and concerned father. I have an
extraordinarily talented little brother who has the biggest heart I’ve ever
seen. The blessings are there even when it’s raining. “So if you stay positive
you have a shot, at a silver lining.”

live, love, laugh

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