I do, do you?

There’s a significant difference between what it means to “hold fast” and being in handcuffs. They’re both a tie, they both maintain a connection to something or someone else. The first is based on loyalty and what is good, whereas handcuffs are forced and resemble slavery. Ties can be made of steadfast hope like the anchor referenced in the bible, or we can be tied with a ball and chain. The purpose of a tie is to keep you in a place, the question is; should you be there? Is what you’re attached to doing good for you? Is what you’re clinging to worth the rope burn on your palms, or is it time to cut the cord?

I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage and not in the sick of being single way, I’ve casted my cares aside about the ‘when’ and have been sincerely contemplating the ‘why’ I’ve been thinking that when I’m through with making the most of the season I’m in, what’ll be my reasons for marrying? I don’t worry so much about the better because the better parts of things are easy, smooth, and effortless. What I care about most is the worst. As a woman who views marriage as the bible does, it’s so important for me to know the arrangement of my future husband’s engagement with Christ. Is he like Joseph? The family favorite who maintained unwavering faith from prison to the throne, or maybe the man I’ll marry follows the pattern of Peter, a disciple of wonderful passion who also had an untimely shortcoming of impulsivity. I’ve said that I could see myself with someone like David, a man after God’s own heart. What a stunning legacy David left, Christ himself is in his bloodline. However, when David sinned he really gave it his all. Do I want that? A sweetheart with sadistic tendencies, I may have just described myself. Above all else, know that every single soul is a work in progress. That being said, be ever so careful who you tie your soul too.

The experience that sparked this article was during a dinner I had with a friend who was having a particularly low day. He lives momentarily, one step at a time every day. His constant positivity echoes that of Bradley Cooper’s character in Silver Linings Playbook. It’s wonderful to see him on a peak but this night was more of a valley for him. Sometimes the dark night makes it easy to see fault in the stars. At some point during the night I had a revelation that I will take into my future marriage. The quote I came up with is this: If I can’t handle your rebellion, I don’t want to sick around for your righteousness. I pray that my husband has that message impressed on his heart as well. When I’m being a rebel, not a Romans 1:16 rebel, but the kind without a cause, it is an immaturity no one should have to deal with. Who are you when you have righteousness but you’re running from God and what does your faith look like when you don’t want to have faith?

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