Scream of Silence

I never thought it possible to miss a thing you’ve never had. 
Then it got quiet enough, actual quiet, silence not even blocked by white noise. 
The only interruption being 
a ticking clock.
In the stillness I realized it is a reality, to be able to miss something you’ve never once had.
What we truly miss, I believe in this solemn, sovereign hour 
of the late night. 

Or the very first of the morning, 
are the things planted in us before we entered this planet. 
The things we were made for. 
The desires we yearn for.
The cries of our hearts.
The things we want that have not yet come to be, which will make us the best we’ve ever been.
I believe that now as I lie alone, tired from a life so full. 
It is possible to miss what you have never-not even once-
had before.
That’s okay. That’s human. 
That’s good. Just don’t let the craving get the best of you.
Head up, shoulders back, be patient. 
Love always finds a way.

The games, the boundaries, 
the chase. 
The lines, we, he, they dare not cross are all in place.
In place for good measure 
and good reason.
Though sometimes we’re just tired enough, just lonely enough, just thinking crookedly enough, to ask for the wrong kind of company to fill the right kind of need.

Wouldn’t it just be nice to say; be with me?
I want you, I don’t need you but 
I want you.
I could really use the company.
Cross the lines, shoot the text, call the best you’ve got
even if they’re not the best, make the plea.
Dare to say be with me.
That would mean no more lying alone.
We all do this. We all want to anyway. The wise ones though, step back behind the lines of not yet, too soon, and don’t settle.
No better than the ones who do continue to cross, just wiser and thankful for it.
Loneliness like pain is temporary. 
Soon enough the begging fades and the heart scream settles into the quiet of the night.
She’s lonely now 
but then she’ll sleep and in the morning sun she’ll see how much stronger she’s come to be.

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