Cold Coffee

I have this friend who gets great tattoos. I realize the word great is up for interpretation. In my opinion however, the tattoos she has are great ones. Well thought out images that spark inspiration. Hence, why I write about them. Ink Runs Deep was the first time I wrote about the art she wears. She recently added to her collection so I figured it was time to write a new piece about her newest piece.

Unconventional is a good way of describing this life of mine in one single word. Growing up with a disability meant things would never be “normal” and you know what? I’m proud of that. Finally I’m in a place where I see the true value in being original, unexpected, and rare. People like to think they are those things but when it comes down to it, people just want to blend in. What happens when you can’t? What happens when you’re me, walking unconventionally, standing out whether that’s the intention or not? Well, that’s the make or break. I can either be envious of the average or embrace perfect imperfections. At 23, it’s safe to say I’ve chosen the latter. I was never meant to fit in and that is a gift. After all, it’s the standouts who make history. 

My unconventional ways are now something I continually enjoy. It sets me apart. Makes me different. I love it and I don’t even have to try. The most interesting things in life are unconventional. That’s the word that comes to mind when I think of cold coffee, the heat-less beverage itself sure, but more specifically the song Ed Sheeran wrote. Cold coffee, not iced, not hot, not even lukewarm. Coffee that’s been left out so long there’s no more warmth. That is an unconventional preference.

Lyrics and lavender

Artist Curtis Coyazo, Wasted Youth Tattoo in Romeoville, IL.

The rarity isn’t in the lyrics or the lavender that borders the world’s most popular beverage. Millions of people love that British singer, millions of people use lavender, millions of people drink coffee and I’m sure there are plenty who drink it cold. The rarity is in who my friend got this tattoo for. She got it for her mother. Cold coffee, an unconventional way of drinking the most conventional beverage. Cold coffee would not even be a thought if I were to describe my mother, Red Bull maybe but not cold coffee. I wanted to know why she got this tattoo from this song for her mom, but I also didn’t want to know. Contrary to what people may think, tattoos are very personal. Just because the majority wears them these days doesn’t make them any less meaningful to the individual. Just like life, much of the appeal is in the mystery.

I decided to listen to the song and draw my own conclusion. It’s not one of Sheeran’s most popular but it’s a good song and it does make you think. Listen for yourself if you like.

Cold Coffee from my POV

I’m drunk off last night’s whisky and coke. She’ll make me shiver without warning. And make me laugh as if I’m in on the joke.

Feeling weak and tired, wanting something warm and soothing,
sipping something stale instead.

And you can stay with me forever. Or you could stay with me for now.

Wanting things one way but agreeing to have something just to avoid being left with nothing.
Tell me if I’m wrong. Tell me if I’m right. Tell me if you need a loving hand to help you fall asleep tonight. Tell me if I know. Tell me if I do. Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to.

Wanting to make a relationship work, not knowing what to do. Willing to do just about anything to fix it, keep it, or get it back; even if that means faking it.

I’ll wake with coffee in the morning but
Outside the day is up and calling But I don’t have to be so, please go back to sleep.
Coffee and tea, like oil and water, don’t mix. Can’t have both. Different people want different things but it’s hard to realize that. At first, it’s hard to let go because it can feel like giving up.

Feeling like you’re not enough is one of the worst kinds of pain. What’s more, is that it’s a lie. We lose connection, communication gets lost, and people get hurt.

Tell me if I’m wrong. Tell me if I’m right. Tell me if you need a loving hand to help you fall asleep tonight.

Sticking around anyway, hoping that things will be better in the morning when all the stress and insomnia says otherwise.

In the end

Cold Coffee is a song of brutal truth about any relationship that goes sour. It hurts to loose touch with someone, especially when they’re right in front of you. To me this song is the prelude to heartbreak and not necessarily the romantic kind, more like losing a close friend or feeling the invisible distance that’s as big as an ocean between you and someone in your own bloodline. This is the ballad that is sung before the bridge breaks. Wanting to get somewhere, to make it across, but with every step there is strain. The wooden slats creak and depress under the pressure, it’s only a matter of time before it falls apart. Admittedly, at first listen I teared up because I remember thinking things along the lines of his lyric: stay with me forever or you could stay with me for now. Having that desperate plea of the heart but only getting a fraction of what was needed. I’ve sipped cold coffee in the morning.

It is not the happiest of things but life is not happy all of the time. What it is though is honest and that’s what I like. I like honesty even when it’s messy. Relationships are hard because they have people in them and people are broken, sinful, and flawed. We can be better though, we can always be better, it takes courage and I respect that because bravery and courage do not come easy.

I don’t know exactly why my wonderful friend got this unconventional tribute tattoo, but I’m guessing it comes from a place of honesty, and if you ever want to get anywhere you have to start with the truth.

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